Why We Fear Change, Even When We Want It.

I’ve always been someone who craves change. I’d get restless in the same routine, the same environment, always eager to move forward and explore new opportunities. But what I didn’t realize was how much fear of change was woven into that desire. The irony? Even when I wanted it, I found myself resisting it, terrified of what it could mean for my future.

When I was younger, I had this constant urge to switch things up—whether it was changing schools, jobs, or moving to a new city. On the surface, it seemed like I was taking bold steps to build the life I wanted, but deep down, I was overwhelmed with anxiety at the thought of letting go of the familiar. I had no idea how to adapt to the unfamiliar without feeling like I was losing control. I remember the first time I decided to move away from home for a new teaching position. It was exciting, yes, but also terrifying. I was leaving behind everything I knew and had grown comfortable with, from family to friends, and even the rhythm of my daily life.

In the beginning, I felt paralyzed. The uncertainty made me second-guess every decision I’d made. Would I be able to make new friends? What if I failed at this job? What if I regretted leaving everything behind? I feared that I wasn’t ready, that the change I’d asked for might swallow me whole. But as time passed, I realized something crucial. I wasn’t just scared of change itself; I was scared of what it meant about me. I was afraid of being exposed, of having to prove myself in unfamiliar spaces.

But slowly, I started to adapt. The more I embraced change, the more I realized that the fear wasn’t the monster I thought it was. It was a signal—a reminder to grow, to learn, to get comfortable with the discomfort. I began to see that change didn’t have to mean losing who I was. In fact, it could be a way to redefine myself, to become stronger and more adaptable. I learned to trust that change could bring me growth, even if it meant stumbling along the way.

Now, looking back, I realize that the times I feared change the most were the ones that led me to some of my most rewarding experiences. The challenges I faced pushed me to become a more resilient, more confident version of myself. Change, despite its uncertainty, has shaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined when I first feared it. It’s not about getting rid of the fear—it’s about accepting it, knowing that growth often comes from stepping into the unknown. Now, I embrace change, even if it’s hard. I know that the fear is just a sign that I’m on the edge of something better.